Guest review: Colman’s Mustard Chocolate

My ears are very proud today. Why? Because the enigma wrapped in sportiness and green fur that is Green Ted (@Green_Tedward) has written a very special guest review for my blog. Thanks Tedward! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

“Green Ted Writes Down Some Thoughts About Colman’s Mustard Chocolate

I am not sure that just because we can do something it automatically follows that we should. To genetic modification of crops, wearing socks for more than one day at a time and attending One Direction concerts can be added mustard flavoured chocolate.

I ate this bar of chocolate and it was OK. At first I thought it looked a bit like ordinary plain chocolate and after careful examination I decided this was how it tasted too. I could definitely taste the chocolate, which is important for a chocolate bar, but there was precious little action in the mustard direction and there was absolutely no taste of Colmans at all.

I suspect this is a cunning marketing strategy devised to broaden the appeal of the product, but fundamentally misconceived. This would not go well on a ham sandwich or in a poultice although at a push it would be OK on sausages.

I enjoyed unwrapping the chocolate. The wrapper provided just the right amount of challenge without being difficult or beyond the skills of a small bear. The bar was a good size and despite the central heating kept a good neat snap that followed the lines in a satisfactory manner. As a result if you were a bear that a) shares chocolate and b) cares about whole numbers, it would be possible to share this chocolate using reasonably close to whole number ratios. In extremis, I think a small bear could use this chocolate bar as a raft if they were caught in a flood.

In summary, it is an OK chocolate bar but don’t put it on your sausages.

2.718 paws out of 5″



9 thoughts on “Guest review: Colman’s Mustard Chocolate

  1. Absolutely delightful review!! I laughed out loud many times. As a math teacher, I approve the rating of 2.718 out of 5. 2.718 is the number e. Very funny!!


  2. Wow! One very brave bear to tackle something with Chocolate and Mustard on the label! Think the name would put us off buying it, and in an emergency, if it was the last bar of chocolate we had left, we would be relieved to find out that we couldn’t really taste the mustard!

    Great guest blogger, well done!

    Odd Sock & the Top of the Wardrobe Gang xxx


  3. I DO care about whole numbers and found this most helpful! Very well written too, Green Ted! I will refrain from putting this on my sausages as well, although that is not a terribly American thing anyway!


  4. Well, I don’t like dark chocolate at the best of times. At the worst of times, I don’t think I want to try this either! Well, if someone gave me a free bar I’d consider it, but it does seem a little bandwagony in the chocolate department. Or “freaky”, if you prefer. Great review though, loved it.


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